Trying to play an AC/DC song on the ukulele while babysitting

Over on Facebook an old friend from high school wrote on his status update, "I wonder how many kids got real guitars for Christmas," and I said, "my daughter go a ukulele," and he said, "I don't think they're going to make Ukulele Guitar Hero anytime soon," and I said, "You can rock on a ukulele. I even play an AC/DC song. I should record it and post it." He said, "you should totally do that." So here I am, embarrassing myself on the internet because some guy I haven't seen in 20 years dared me to. See how much I've matured since Jr. High. I could have kept practicing until it sounded better, but I'm afraid this is probably as good as it will get.

(you'll have to pause the music on the right to hear this good)



By the way, Whitney did get 2 cookies and it probably spoiled her dinner.

Also, no matter what you think of how I play and sing "You Shook Me All Night Long", I still sound better than Celine Dion's cover. She super sucks.

Woolf Pics

7 Wonders of the Book of Mormon

I read this article in the Deseret News a few months ago. I'm just saving it here if I need it sometime.

7 Wonders of the Book of Mormon

Book of Mormon Lesson 48 - "Come unto Christ"

Rough draft

Book of Mormon Lesson 48
“Come unto Christ”

I. Introduction
A. Since this is the last Book of Mormon lesson and this will be my last gospel doctrine lesson (I’m being released this week) I would like to say how much I have appreciated the opportunity to be your instructor. I have been a Sunday School teacher for almost 4 years, 1 ½ for the teenagers and 2 ½ as gospel doctrine teacher. So I got to go through all the standard works. When they first called me to be the gospel doctrine teacher I felt more nervous and inadequate than with any calling I have every had except when I first went on my mission. After all, we have seminary and institute teacher in our ward and people who are much older and wiser than me, and I was supposed to expound on the scriptures to them.
B. My grandfather died last month. He was 90 years old. He had been a bishop, stake president, a mission president and a patriarch. But the calling he liked to tell his kids and grandkids about was when he was the basketball couch for his ward. When he was called to this calling he literally knew nothing about basketball - he had never played in his life. He went down to the library to read about it and to learn some plays. He did his best and, with the help of some very good players, his ward won the Mesa city championships, the state championship, and got to go to Salt Lake City for the Church championship where they came in second (they must have lost to Lithuania). The guys on his team, who are grandparents themselves now, many of whom attended his funeral, still affectionately called him couch (not bishop or president). He told us this story to remind us that we should never turn down a calling and we should always magnify our calling.
C. I have learned more from teaching gospel doctrine than in any calling I have ever had except being a missionary. Nothing motivates me more to study than the fear of getting up in front of people like this.
D. Today we will be finishing the Book of Mormon. Once again we will see that in the last few chapters of the Book of Mormon Moroni chooses to talk about the basic and important principles of the gospel - faith, hope, charity, baptism.

II. Doing good for the right reasons.
A. Moroni quotes his father in chapter 7.
B. Read Moroni 7:3-4.
1. He is speaking to the “peaceable followers of Christ” who had “sufficient hope by which [to] enter into the rest of the Lord.”
2. What does it mean to be a “peaceable follower of Christ”?
3. What does it mean to have enough hope to “enter into the rest fo the Lord”?
4. Joseph F. Smith said: “The ancient prophets speak of ‘entering into God’s rest’; what does it mean? To my mind, it means entering into the knowledge and love of God, having faith in his purpose and in his plan, to such an extent that we know we are right, and that we are not hunting for something else, we are not disturbed by every wind of doctrine, or by the cunning and craftiness of men who lie in wait to deceive.”
C. Read Moroni 7:5-9
1. Why is the motivation for doing good important? Are there people who do good thing for the wrong reason?
2. President Marion G. Romney said: “About a quarter of a century ago Sister Romney and I moved into a ward in which they were just beginning to build a meetinghouse. The size of the contribution the bishop thought I ought to contribute rather staggered me. I thought it was at least twice as much as he should have asked. However, I had just been called to a rather high Church position, so I said, ‘Well, I will pay it, bishop, but I will have to pay it in installments because I don’t have the money.’ And so I began to pay. And I paid and paid until I was down to about the last three payments, when, as is my habit, I was reading The Book of Mormon, and came to the scripture which said: ‘...if a man...giveth a gift...grudgingly; wherefore it is counted unto him the same as if he had retained the gift; wherefore he is counted evil before God.’ This shocked me because I was out about a thousand dollars. Well, I went on and paid the three installments I had promised to pay, and then paid several more installments to convince the Lord that I had done it with the right attitude.”
3. How can we purify our motives for doing good?
a. One suggestion is to “give until if feels good.”

III. Judging good from evil.
A. Read Moroni 7:12-15
1. How can we know if something is good or if something is evil?
a. Does ______ invite me to love and serve God? Is_____ inspired of God. Does ____ inviteth and enticeth to do good continually.
2. What are some examples of the world judging “that which is evil to be of God, or that which is good and of God to be of the Devil.”
B. Read Moroni 7:16-17
1. Why is it often hard to distinguish good from evil? One reason is that Satan cannot create anything good or pleasurable by himself. He can only corrupt and pervert what God has created. So what Satan temps us with in some ways has an element of corrupted good. Satan is a great deceiver.
2. In C.S. Lewis’s book The Screwtape Letters, the demon Screwtape sends advice to his fellow demon Wormwood on how to tempt a certain human subject. He speaks of one of the advantages “the Enemy” (God) has over them. “Never forget that when we are dealing with any pleasure in its healthy and normal satisfying form, we are, in a sense, on the Enemy’s ground. I know we have won many a soul through pleasure. All the same, it is His invention, not ours. He made the pleasures: all our research so far has not enabled us to produce one. All we can do is to encourage the humans to take the pleasures which our Enemy has produced, at times, or in ways, or in degrees, which He has forbidden. Hence we always try to work away from the natural condition of any pleasure to that in which it is least natural, least redolent of its Maker, and least pleasurable. An ever increasing craving for an ever diminishing pleasure is the formula.”
C. I would argue that the ability to distinguish good from evil and to recognize when the world is calling evil good and good evil is one of the most important skills (or blessings) we can develop in this life.
D. This is also one of the ways I know the Book of Mormon is of God. I have read it dozens of times now, and it always “enticety [me] to do good, and to love God, and to serve him....and to believe in Christ.”
E. I had an institute teacher in college who told us how one summer he and his brother, both seminary teachers at the time, prepared to teach the Book of Mormon the following year. They decided to read the entire Book of Mormon in about a 2 week period. They got up early every morning, went to the seminary building, and spent half the day just reading the Book of Mormon straight through. One day as they were leaving the building he turned to his brother and said, “You know, I have no desire to do any evil right now.” That is the kind of gift we have in the Book of Mormon - something that takes away our desire to do evil.

IV. Faith, hope and charity.
A. Mormon next explains the importance of having faith, hope and charity and how we cannot have any one of them without having the other two.
B. Read Moroni 7:39-44.
1. In order to have faith in Christ you must have hope that his atonement can save us. In order to have hope in Christ you must also have faith in the atonement. In order to have either you must become “meek and lowly in heart” which is to say, to have charity.
2. Bruce R. McConkie said: “As used in the revelations, hope is the desire of faithful people to gain eternal salvation in the kingdom of God hereafter....Faith and hope are inseparable. Hope enables us to have faith in the first instance then because of faith that hope increases until salvation is gained.”
C. Read Moroni 7:45-47.
1. Compare 1 Corinthians 13:1-13.
2. Mormon is obviously quoting Paul here. Paul wrote this over 300 years before Mormon. How did he have access to it on the other side of the world? Would God deny his holy prophet access to his inspired word anywhere or any time?
3. Charity is perhaps the most important attribute we can develop in this life.
4. How can we obtain charity? Read Moroni 7:48. Pry for it.

V. Baptism of little children.
A. In a letter to his son Moroni we learn that 400 years after Christ the Christians in America were having some of the same confusions that Christians in the old world were having.
1. Read Moroni 8:4-6
2. About what were they having disputations? Infant baptism.
B. Read Moroni 8:7-15
1. Why don’t infants need baptism.
2. With infant baptism we are putting the cart before the horse. For baptism to be meaningful one must first repent. To be able to repent you must first be able to understand right from wrong.
3. Claiming that baptism is necessary for the salvation of infants is claiming that God is not merciful.
4. In some ways infant baptism is just one of the manifestations of the corruption of Christ’s Gospel that says that we are in no way responsible for our actions or our salvation (Calvinism).
5. Brigham Young said: “It gives me exceedingly great joy to understand, that every child that has been taken from this mortality to the spiritual world, from the day that mother Eve bore her first child to this time, is an heir to the celestial Kingdom and glory of God...”
a. What does this mean? How many children have died without reaching the age of accountability? Some have estimated that it is about 50% of all the people who have ever lived. That’s a lot of people who are automatically going to the Celestial Kingdom. Maybe those of us who have survived are the ones who really needed to be tested.

VI. Moroni’s Promise.
A. When we think of Moroni’s promise we usually think only of Moroni 10:4 which says: “And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true” Basically, read and pray and you’ll know if it’s true. But you have to read just before and after this verse to realize that there is more to it than that.
B. Read Moroni 10:3.
1. “Read these things.” We need to read the whole Book of Mormon.
2. “Remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men.” Why is this important. It is important to keep in mind not only what we read in the Book of Mormon but the mercies of God we learn of in the other scriptures, from history, and from our own life.
3. “Ponder it in your hearts.” He is talking not just about the Book of Mormon but of all the mercies of the Lord.
C. Read Moroni 10:4
4. “Ask God....if these things are not true.” Pray.
5. Have a “sincere heart.” What does this mean. Are there those who attempt to study the Book of Mormon academically without a sincere heart.
6. “With real intent.”
7. “Having faith in Christ.”
D. Read Moroni 10:6
8. Know that “whatsoever thing is good is just and true.” Anyone reading the Book of Mormon will have a hard time saying that it teaches people to be evil. It teaches us to do good, so it is “just and true.”
E. Read Moroni 10:7.
9. “Deny not the power of God.”
a. I have told the story of my old seminary teacher who helped me gain my testimony of the Book of Mormon but later apostatized from the church and is now very active in the organization Post-Mormonism. He told me that he has had ex-students come to him and testify to him that if he would just read the Book of Mormon and pray about it he would know it was true again. He tells them, “I’ve already tried that and I still don’t believe it.” But he did know. I know he knew because I remember how he testified to me. What he is doing now is “[denying] the power of God.”
F. Read Moroni 10:8
10. If we agree that the Book of Mormon is good, and therefore just and true, we should recognize it as a gift of God. “Deny not the gifts of God.”
G. Read Moroni 10:18
11. “Remember that every good gift cometh of Christ.” The Book of Mormon is a good gift —> it comes from Christ.
F. Read Moroni 10:27.
12. “Remember these things [the Book of Mormon].” It is not enough just to read it through once. We need to study it enough to remember it.
G. Read Moroni 10:30
13. “Come unto Christ.” It is ultimately when we have come unto Christ and have partaken of his salvation that we will be blessed with a testimony of the Book of Mormon. When one sees how the Book of Mormon testifies of the atonement of Jesus Christ and helps one gain a testimony of Jesus Christ they will know it is true.

VII. Conclusion
A. Joseph Fielding Smith said: “No member of this Church can stand approved in the presence of God who has not seriously and carefully read the Book of Mormon.”
B. Ezra Taft Benson said: “The Book of Mormon is studied in our Sunday School and seminary classes every fourth year. This four-year pattern, however, must not be followed by Church member in their personal and family study. We need to read daily from the pages of the book that will get a man ‘nearer to God by abiding by its percepts, than by any other book’.
C. He also said: “Every Latter-day Saint should make the study of this book a lifetime pursuit.”

Tinkling Cymbals and Sounding Brass

In Tinkling Cymbals and Sounding Brass - The Art of Telling Tales about Joseph Smith andd Brigham Young, Hugh Nibley spends 700+ pages pointing out what should be obvious to any reader of anti-Mormon literature - that almost all of it is based on rumors, misrepresentations, innuendos and half-truths. I already knew that, but what I found interesting was how much “inbreeding” occurs in anti-Mormon works - the same poor sources are repeated over and over again and passed on for 150 years. I also found it sadly ironic that Hugh Nibley, who spent his life defending Joseph Smith and the church against false witnesses, at the end of his life he fell victim to similar false witness - his own daughter. (Repressed memory syndrome? I still don’t buy it.)

I also finished the sixth book in The Work and the Glory series - Praise to the Man by Gerald N. Lund. He writes good historical fiction and doesn’t pussyfoot around the difficult issues like polygamy. If anyone knows where I can get book seven - No Unhallowed Hand on CD or tape I'd pay hansomely for it.

I got Michelle a bunch of children’s books for Christmas to read to Whitney at night. I’ll probably steal some of them over the next few weeks. I’m going to try to read Tales of the Beedle Bard this week.

===========================================================

Books I Can Remember that I’ve Read (In no particular order)

I'm only counting text books if I read the entire thing.
I'm counting books that I read more than half of but stopped because I couldn't stomach it (Lolita) or hated (Moby Dick). I'm not counting books that are mostly pictures (The Cat in the Hat) although they are still some of my favorite books. I'm counting books twice if I read them in English and in Spanish. Also, I have not counted all the Bathroom Readers, mostly because I'm ashamed of how much time I spend on the pot. I've read almost all of them though.

***** - I really liked
**** - I liked
*** - OK
** - I didn’t like
* - It sucked.


1. The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald****
2. A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man - James Joyce**
3. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen****
4. Walden - Henry David Thoreau**
5. Claudius the God - Robert Graves*****
6. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez***
7. A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess****
8. As I Lay Dying -William Faulkner***
9. Animal Farm - George Orwell****
10. The Book of Mormon - Written by the Hand of Mormon. Translated by Joseph Smith Jr.*****
11. The Holy Bible - King James Version*****
12. The Doctrine and Covenants - Joseph Smith, others****
13. The Pearl of Great Price - Moses, Abraham, Joseph Smith****
14. Travels with Charley (In Search of America) - John Steinbeck****
15. A Series of Unfortunate Events. The Bad Beginning - Lemony Snicket***
16. A Series of Unfortunate Events. The Reptile Room - Lemony Snicket***
17. A Series of Unfortunate Events. The Wide Window - Lemony Snicket***
18. Les Liaisons Dagereuses - Pierre Choderlos de Laclos****
19. Tom Sawyer Abroad - Samuel Clemens***
20. The Monkey Wrench Gang - Edward Abbey****
21. The Hero With a Thousand Faces - Joseph Campbell***
22. The Faith of a Scientist - Henry Eyring****
23. The Power of Myth - Joseph Campbell****
24. What are People For - Wendell Berry***
25. The Miracle of Forgiveness - Spencer W. Kimball****
26. The Greatest Salesman in the World - Og Mandino***
27. 1984 - George Orwell****
28. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn - Samuel Clemens*****
29. On the Road - Jack Keroac****
30. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens****
31. Catch-22 - Joseph Heller****
32. Don Quixote - Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra****
33. Uncle Tom’s Cabin - Harriet Beecher Stowe***
34. Deliverance - James Dickey****
35. The Best of Edward Abbey***
36. Rosaura a las Diez - Marco Denevi****
37. Ragtime - E.L. Doctorow****
38. Tom Sawyer Detective - Samuel Clemens***
39. The Iliad -Homer****
40. The Hobbit - J.R.R. Tolkein*****
41. Notes from the Underground - Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky***
42. The Double - Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky***
43. The Trial -Franz Kafka***
44. Moby Dick - Herman Melville**
45. Invisible Man - Ralph Ellison***
46. Principles of Surgery Companion Handbook - Schartz, Shires, Spencer*
47. Standing for Something - Gordon B. Hinckley***
48. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis*****
49. The Sound and the Fury -William Faulkner**
50. The Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck****
51. Slaughter House-Five - Kurt Vonnegut****
52. Tender is the Night - F. Scott Fitzgerald****
53. Under the Volcano - Malcolm Lowry**
54. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer -Samuel Clemens*****
55. Darkness at Noon - Arthur Koestler*****
56. The Call of the Wild - Jack London****
57. Kim - Rudyard Kipling***
58. A Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickens****
59. Howards End - E.M. Forster****
60. Sons and Lovers - D.H. Lawrence***
61. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad***
62. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance -Robert M. Pirsig****
63. The Stranger - Albus Camus****
64. To the Lighthouse - Virginia Woolf***
65. The Lonely Men - Louis L’Amour***
66. Sacred Clowns - Tony Hillerman***
67. The Covenant - James A. Michener****
68. Prentice Alvin - Orson Scott Card****
69. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy -Douglas Adams****
70. The Quick and the Dead - Louis L’Amour***
71. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee*****
72. The Gift of the Jews - Thomas Cahill****
73. The Last Battle - C.S. Lewis****
74. The Christ Commission - Og Mandin****
75. Ender’s Game -Orson Scott Card*****
76. People of Darkness - Tony Hillerman****
77. The Horse and His Boy - C.S. Lewis****
78. The Silver Chair - C.S. Lewis****
79. Memory of Earth - Orson Scott Card***
80. The Odyssey - Homer****
81. The Source - James A. Michener*****
82. The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger****
83. The Story of England - Christopher Hibbert****
84. A Farewell to Arms - Ernest Hemingway****
85. The Changed Man - Orson Scott Card****
86. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl****
87. El Milagro del Perdon -Spencer W. Kimball****
88. Frankenstein - Mary Shelley****
89. A Marvelous Work and a Wonder - LeGrand Richards****
90. A Treasury of Classical Mythology - A.R. Hope Moncrieff****
91. The Lord of the Rings - The Fellowship of the Ring - J.R.R. Tolkien****
92. Pure Drivel - Steve Martin***
93. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens****
94. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens****
95. Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone - J.K. Rowling*****
96. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - J.K. Rowling*****
97. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban -J.K. Rowling*****
98. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire -J.K. Rowling*****
99. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - J.K. Rowling*****
100. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - J.K. Rowling*****
101. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - J.K. Rowling*****
102. The Screwtape Letters - C.S. Lewis*****
103. The Magician's Nephew - C.S. Lewis*****
104. Out of the Silent Planet - C.S. Lewis****
105. Prince Caspian - C.S. Lewis*****
106. The Voyage of the 'Dawn Treader - C.S. Lewis*****
107. Mere Christianity - C.S. Lewis****
108. That Hideous Strength - C.S. Lewis****
109. The Sun Also Rises - Ernest Hemingway***
110. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov**
111. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley****
112. I Claudius - Robert Graves*****
113. Anthem - Ann Rand***
114. Lord of the Flies - William Golding****
115. As I Lay Dying - William Faulkner***
116. The Secret Agent - Joseph Conrad***
117. Starship Troopers - Robert Heinlein****
118. A Room With a View - E.M. Forster****
119. Lord Jim - Joseph Conrad***
120. Citizen of the Galaxy - Robert Heinlein****
121. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest - Ken Kesley****
122. Tunnel in the Sky - Robert Heinlein****
123. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz - L. Frank Baum****
124. Speaker for the Dead - Orson Scott Card****
125. Xenocide - Orson Scott Card****
126. Songmaster - Orson Scott Card**
127. Saints - Orson Scott Card****
128. Red Prophet - Orson Scott Card****
129. Cruel Shoes - Steve Martin***
130. The Great Brain - John Dennis Fitzgerald****
131. Me and My Little Brain - John Dennis Fitzgerald****
132. Jesus the Christ - James Talmage*****
133. The Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas****
134. Dracula - Bram Stoker****
135. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown***
136. Angels and Demons - Dan Brown****
137. Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West - Gregory Maguire****
138. Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator - Roald Dahl**
139. How the Irish Saved Civilization - Thomas Cahill***
140. Fundamentals of Family Medicine - Robert B. Taylor***
141. Medical Physiology - Rodney A Rhoades and George A Tanner**
142. D'aulaires Book of Greek Myths - Ingri and Edgar Parin D'Aurlaire****
143. El Libro De Mormon - Un Relato Escrito por la Mano de Mormon. Traducido de las Planchas por Jose Smith, Hijo*****
144. Generation X - Douglas Coupland***
145. Robinson Crusoe - Daniel Defoe****
146. Interview with the Vampire - Anne Rice****
147. The Picture of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde****
148. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen****
149. History of the English-Speaking Peoples - Winston Churchhill****
150. A Guide to Physical Examination and History Taking - Barbara Bates**
151. Complete History of the World - Richard Overy****
152. The American Religion - Harold Bloom***
153. The Good Earth - Pearl S. Buck****
154. In Cold Blood - Truman Capote****
155. A Rumor of War - Philip Caputo****
156. Religion in the New World - Richard E. Wentz***
157. The Moon Is Down - John Steinbeck****
158. The Pearl - John Steinbeck****
159. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck****
160. The Spy Who Came in from the Cold - John le Carré****
161. The Education of Little Tree - Forrest Carter*****
162. The Chosen - Chaim Potok****
163. The Work and the Glory, Pilar of Fire - Gerald N. Lund*****
164. The Work and the Glory, Like a Fire if Burning - Gerald N. Lund*****
165. The Work and the Glory, Truth will Prevail - Gerald N. Lund*****
166. The Work and the Glory, Thy Gold Refine - Gerald N. Lund*****
167. The Work and the Glory, A Season of Joy - Gerald N. Lund*****
168. Stepen King On Writing, A memoir of the Craft - Stephen King***
169. Me Talk Pretty One Day - David Sedaris****
170. Book of Mormon Authorship Revisited, The Evidence for Ancient Origins - Edited by Noel B. Reynolds. **** (March '08)
171. The Millionaire Next Door - Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko****
172. Naked Ape : A Zoologist's Study of the Human Animal - Desmond Morris****
173. Johnny Tremain - Esther Forbes****
174. Mormons and Masons, Setting the Record Straight - Gilbert W. Scharffs* (March '08)
175. San Manuel Bueno, mártir - Miguel de Unamuno****
176. Critiquing the Critics of Joseph Smith - Hartt Wixom**** (March '08)
177. Mormon Country - Wallace Stegner****
178. The House of God - Samuel Shem**
179. The Way of All Flesh - Samuel Butler****(March '08)
180. The Clan of the Cave Bear - Jean M. Auel**** (April '08)
181. Religions of the World - A Latter-day Saint View - Spencer J. Palmer, Rober R. Keller, Dong Sull Choi, James A. Toronto****
182. Julius Caesar - William Shakespear****
183. Romeo and Juliet - William Shakespeare****
184. Hamlet - William Shakespeare****
185. Macbeth - William Shakespeare****
186. One Minute Answers to Anti-Mormon Questions - Stephen W. Gibson*** (May '08)
187. Jay's Journal - Beatrice Sparks**
188. Blueprints in Obstetrics and Gynecology - Tamara L. Callahan, Aaron B Caughey and Linda J Heffner***
189. Clinical Microbiology Made Rediculously Simple - Mark Galdwin and Bill Trattler****
190. Prescription for the Boards USMLE Step 2 - Radhika Breaden, Charyl Denenberg, Kate Feibusch, Stephen Gomperts***
191. The Instant Exam Review for the USMLE Step 3 - Joel s. Goldberg**
192. Appleton & Lang's Review of Pediatrics - Martin I. Lorin**
193. Pathology - Arthur S. Schneider and Philip A Szanto**
194. Internal Medicine - Edward D. Frohlich**
195. The Lord of the Rings - The Two Towers - J.R.R. Tolkien****
196. The Lord of the Rings - The Return of the King - J.R.R. Tolkien****
198. The Mountain Meadows Massacre - Juanita Brooks****
198. A Thief of Time - Tony Hillerman****
199. Naked Pictures of Famous People - Jon Stewart**
200. La Casa de Bernarda Alba - Federico García Lorca***
201. Why Things Are and Why Things Aren't - Joel Achenbach****
202. Why Things Are - Joel Achenbach****
203. Why Do Clocks Run Clockwise? And Other Imponderables - David Feldman****
204. First Aid for the Family Medicine Boards - Tao Le, Christine Dehlendorf, Michael Mendoza, and Cynthria Ohata*** (May '08)
205. Why Don't Cat's Like to Swim - David Feldman****
206. The Naked and the Dead - Norman Mailer**** (June '08)
207. Encounters with the Archdruid - John McPhee***
208. Desert Solitaire - Edward Abby***
209. Family Medicine Board Review - Robert L. Bratton, MD*** (July '08)
210. View of the Hebrews - Ethan Smith** (August '08)
211. A Wrinkle in Time - Madeleine L'Engle****
212. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens****
213. The Book of Mormon and DNA Resarch - Edited by Daniel C. Petersen**** (Sept '08)
214. The Great Divorce - C.S. Lewis**** (Sept '08)
215. Treasure Island - Robert Louis Stevenson**** (Sept '08)
216. The Great Angel - A Study of Israel's Second God - Margaret Barker**** (Sept '08)
217. The House of the Seven Gables - Nathaniel Hawthorne**** (Sept,08)
218. The Scarlett Letter - Nathaniel Hawthorne**** (Oct, '08)
219. Twilight - Stephanie Meyer** (Oct, '08)
220. Sophie's Choice - William Styron*** (Nov, '08)
221. Revolt of 2100 - Robert Heinlein****
222. Farnham's Freehold - Robert Heinlein****
223. Between Planets - Robert Heinlein****
224. The Giver - Lois Lowry****(Nov, '08)
225. History of Joseph Smith by His Mother Lucy Mack Smith****
226. Stranger in a Strange Land - Robert Heinlein** (Nov, '08)
227. Joseph Smith - Rough Stone Rolling - Richard Lyman Bushman**** (Dec, '08)
228. The Work and the Glory - Praise to the Man - Gerald N. Lund**** (Dec, '08)
229. Tinkling Cymbals and Sounding Brass - The Art of Telling Tales about Joseph Smith and Brigham Young - Hugh Nibley****(Dec, '08)

Christmas 2008

Christmas Letter 2008 with Picture

Dear friends and family,

A bunch of stuff happened to and around the Woolf family this year, over which we mostly had no control. This makes me contemplate my own insignificance in the universe and wonder, with existential melancholy, if human freewill is an illusion. But Merry Christmas anyway.

As most of you know, the evil Mormon plot to elect Mitt Romney president so we could enslave the gentiles and marry their 14 year old daughters failed miserable this last year. So I’ve had to continue my regular job as a physician. I have survived my first lawsuit (non-meritorious), my first recertification exam (passed) and administrative abuses (“What’s good for the syndicate is good for the country” - Milo, Catch-22). But even with looming pay cuts and tax increases, we’re still doing better than many. Besides, I have a years supply of food in my basement, a lot of guns, and tinfoil hats for my whole family. So, if needs be, we can just sit around and wait for the apocalypse.

Michelle is “Super Mom” and I am constantly amazed by her domestic super powers. (I try to get her to wear a Wonder Woman outfit around the house, but she won’t.) Her other official titles are “chief executive officer of household”, “queen of castle” and “car keys and wallet finder”. Without her I would still be a pathetic, subhuman primate, rolling around in my own filth. She also stays busy playing her harp and teaching voice lessons.

Whitney turned 5 this year and her pre-school education is progressing as planned. In fact, we have stressed the importance of education to her so much that now when she sees people kissing on TV or in movies she says, “Eww, not ‘til after college.” We hope we can keep this indoctrination up until she’s 25. She also started Irish dance classes this year and enjoys it very much.

Dane turned 1 in August. He is recovering nicely from his spadius turturis (shy turtle, retractable, fat-boy penis) and is healthy and happy. His interests include puppies (meaning any 4 legged animal), pushing computer buttons, stealing my cell phone, and eating toast.

We hope you all have a profitable Christmas and as much happiness in the new year as you deserve (a blessing and a curse).

Love,

The Woolfs

Book of Mormon Lesson 47

Book of Mormon Lesson 47
“To Keep Them in the Right Way”

I. Moroni - the last Nephite.
A. We are starting the very last book in the Book of Mormon, the Book of Moroni. Apparently, Moroni was the last known Nephite. What does this mean?
1. Remember that even before Christ came to the Nephites the lines between the Nephites and Lamanites were becoming less distinct. In the Book of Helaman we are told the that Nephites and Lamanites traveled freely among each other. We are told that the Lamanites that were converted by the Sons of Mosiah were numbered among the Nephites.
2. Read 4 Nephi 1:17. After Christ there were no “-ites” at all.
3. Read 4 Nephi 1:20. What happened here? This does not sound as if it was an ethnic distinction between the Lamanites and the Nephites. They specifically say that they took “upon them the name of Lamanites,” not that anyone would have recognized them as Lamanites by looking at them. Why did they do this? Because they “revolted from the church.” This was apparently still a small group.
4. Read 4 Nephi 1:37-38. Once again, the divisions were made by religion. It says the “true believers in Christ” were called the Nephites and the “true worshipers of Christ... were called Nephites, and Jacobites and Jodephites and Zoramites.” And that “They who rejected the gospel were called Lamanites, and Lemuelites and Ishmaelites.”
5. I think it is important to realize that destruction of the Nephites was no a destruction of an ethnic group but of a religious group.
B. Read Moroni 1:1-4. What made Moroni the last known “Nephite” was not necessarily the color of his skin, but the fact that he would “not deny the Christ.”
C. We still encounter much persecution and misrepresentation in the Church today. I am glad that the “mobs” that form against us today for the most part don’t have guns and don’t seriously threaten to kick us out of a state or the country as they have in the past. And despite what persecution we have today, at least here in America I am not too concerned that everyone who won’t deny the Christ will be exterminated like in Moroni’s time.
1. Christ is the head of this Church. Although he has allowed the Church to be almost entirely taken from this hemisphere in the past, he still provided a way for it to be restored. We should keep this in mind as the church meets challenges today.
D. Moroni did not expect to live this long. He thought he was done with the Book of Mormon when he finished putting the Book of Ether together. Moroni knows that militarily he has been beaten by the “Lamanites.”
1. These last few chapters can be seen as Moroni’s “Parthian Shot.” The Parthians were a people in the ancient Persian Empire who developed a military tactic where the Parthian archers, while in retreat at full gallop on horseback, would turn their bodies back to shoot at the pursuing enemy, something that took great skill.
2. If you were in Moroni’s situation and these were the last words you were going to leave for the Lamanites, what would you say? “So long, suckers!?”
3. I think it is interesting that some of the last words Moroni leaves us, that we will be reading today, have to do with the ordination to the priesthood and the ordinances of the priesthood. Why do you think he did this?
II. Priesthood Authority.
A. In most Christian religions, how does one obtain authority and titles? Divinity degrees. The desire to serve.
B. Read Moroni 2-3. How were his disciples called here? The laying on of hands. How were elders, priests and teachers ordained? The laying on of hands by the disciples. How does one receive the gift of the Holy Ghost? The laying on of hands.
C. Why was this so important that Moroni stuck it at the end of the Book of Mormon?
III. The Sacrament
A. Almost all Christian churches have some type of communion, holy super, sacrament. But nowhere in ancient scriptures except in the Book of Mormon do we the exact words for the sacrament.
B. Read Moroni 4:1-3
1. This is the prayer we hear every Sunday. This specific prayer gives us a better understanding of what the sacrament and sacrament meeting, the most sacred meeting in the church, means.
2. First, the priest is told they should kneel for this prayer. During other prayers we can kneel, but for the sacrament prayer we are required to kneel. This is a powerful symbol of humility. They way most of our chapels are set up, the person blessing the sacrament is not even seen by the congregation. This focuses our attention on the emblems on the table before us, and not on the person administering.
3. The bread is “sanctified” or made holy. Before this it is nothing but Wonder Bread.
4. Why do we take the bread? “In remembrance of the body of thy Son”. The incarnation of God as Jesus Christ is important in all Christian churches. The resurrection of Christ is a most important miracle for all Christians. But then this substantiation of God is all but forgotten, focusing on God as a unfathonable “spirit” without a body. As Latter Day Saints we understand that the resurrected Body of Christ is not just a symbol, but that it still exists and is something to be remembered and worshiped. We should also remember the suffering of Christ’s Body.
5. We also make promises when we take the sacrament.
a. “That they are willing to take upon them the name of thy Son.” What does this mean?
i. Brother Taylor Halverson says: “We may also consider that bytaking upon ourselves Christ’s name we become his possession, his treasure, his jewls. In the Ancient Near East kings claimed their property by marking objects with their official seal, which bore the name and the image of the king. Each individual throughout the kingdom knew that severe punishment would befall any who tampered with the possessions of the king. Likewise, Christ has marked us with his seal. We are to have his image and named sealed upon us. He owns us because he has bought us with an infinite price–the blood of his atonement.
b. “And always remember him”
i. Spencer W. Kimball said: “When you look in the dictionary for the most important word, do you know what it is? It could be remember. Because all of you have made covenants–you know what to do and you know how to do it–our greatest need is to remember. That is why everyone goes to sacrament meeting every Sabbath day, to take the sacrament and listen to the priests pray that they ‘may always remember him and keep his commandments which he has given them.’ Nobody should ever forget to go to sacrament meeting. Remember is the word. Remember is the program.”
ii. So much of what we do in the church is just reminding us of things.
c. “and keep his comandments which he hath given them.” The sacrament is not a rehearsal of all the commandments God has given us, just a promise that we will keep them.
6. Then he gives us a promise. “That they may always have His Spirit to be with them.” Is there any greater promise or gift we can receive from God than his Spirit?
a. Dallin H. Oaks said: We live in the perilous times prophisied by the Apostle Paul. Those who try to walk the straight and narrow path see inviting detours on every hand. We can be distracted, degraded, downhearted, or depressed. How can we have the Spirit of the Lord to guide our choices and keep us on the path? In modern revelation the Lord gave the answer in this commandement: “And that thou mayest more fully keep thyself unspotted from the world, thou shalt go to the house of prayer and offer up thy sacraments upon my holy day.” This is a commandment with a promise. By participating weekly and appropriately in the ordinance of the sacrament we qualify for the promise that we will “always have his Spirit to be with [us].” That Spirit is the foundation of our testimony. It testifies of the Father and the Son, brings all things to our remembrance, and leads us into truth. It is the compass to guide us on our path.”
C. Read Moroni 5:1-2. A similar pray is said over the wine (water). Christ’s blood is the symbol of his atonement. He bled from every pour as He suffered for our sins in Gethsemene. He spilled his blood as He was scourged and crucified - laying down his life so he could take it up again.
IV. Baptism
A. Read Moroni 6:2-3.
1. Requirements for baptism.
a. A broken heart and a contrite spirit.
b. Repentance
c. Take upon them the name of Christ.
B. Read Moroni 6:4.
1. What does it mean to “nourish” the new members of the church?
2. Gordon B Hinckely said: “With the ever increasing number of converts, we must make and increasingly substantial effort to assist them as they find their way. Every one of them needs three things: a friend, a responsibility, and nurturing with ‘the good word of God’.
3. He also said: “The greatest tragedy in the Church...is the loss of those who join the Church and then fall away. With very few exceptions it need not happen. I am convinced that almost universally those who are baptized by the missinaries have been taught sufficiently to have received knowledge and testimony incident to joining this Church. It means cutting old ties. It means leaving friends. It may mean setting aside cherished beliefs. It may require a change of habits and a suppression of appetites. In so many cases it means loneliness and even fear of the unknown. There must be nurturing and strengthening during this difficult season of a convert’s life. A tremendous price has been paid for his presence in the church. The long efforts of the missionaries and the cost of their service, the separation from old relationship and the trauma associated with this makes it imperative that these precious souls be welcomed, reassured, helped in their times of weakness, praised for what they do, given responsibility under which they may grow strong, and encouraged and thanked for all they do.”
4. About 3 years ago my wife and daughter took a trip to San Francisco. We visited a ward there. It turned out that the ward we visited was made up mostly of students and their families, so it was a bit of a transient ward. But when we walked into the building and started looking around we had a hard time getting anyone to tell us where and when the meetings started. There was no sacrament meeting going on so Michelle started asking around for where the nursery was and people just said “I don’t know, I don’t have kids that age.” She finally found it herself and went in therewith Whitney. The people in the nursery didn’t say anything to them, they played for about 5 minutes and then they told them, “we’re from the other ward and we’re just finishing.” She asked where and when the other ward met and they just said, “I don’t know.” We then just went into the chapel and waited for people to start coming in for sacrament meeting. No one talked to us, and then we went back to our hotel. What if you had been an investigator wandering into this ward. Would you go back?
5. I was Christmas shopping last week and went into a store to buy something for Michelle. There was a teenage girl sitting on a chair and I asked her, “I’m looking for a charm bracelet.” She didn’t get out of her chair and just said, “what kind?” I said, “I don’t know. One that I can put charms on.” She rolled her eyes and said, like I was really putting her out, “Yeah, what kind of charms.” I said, “never mind,” and walked out. I went to the jewelary store next door and asked for a charm bracelet and they showed me several, told me that most charms would fit on them, and I bought one for $150 and left in less than 10 minutes.
6. Since we have all taken upon us “the name of Christ” and should be working for the church, what kind of employees are we? Are we like the girl working for an hourly wage who punches the clock and hopes to do as little work as possible, or do we really try to help our “customers” - new members and those who are interested in learning about the church?
V. Conclusion.
A. The chapters we have read today remind us that the Book of Mormon does not give us a whole lot of new or profound doctrines. It just makes simple principles more clear.
B. Moroni spends some of the last space on the gold plates to talk about the first principles and ordinances of the gospel again.
1. He talks about his faith in Jesus Christ. (He won’t deny the Christ.)
2. He talks about repentance before baptism.
3. He talks about baptism.
4. He talks about the gift of the holy ghost.
5. He talks about priesthood authority and the importance of the sacrament.
C. The fact that Moroni chose to conclude the Book of Mormon by mentioning these basic principles and ordinances should remind us how important they are. Amen

Joseph Smith - Rough Stone Rolling

I finally finished Richard L. Bushman’s Joseph Smith - Rough Stone Rolling last night. I started it over a year ago, got about half way through it and didn’t pick it back up until about 3 weeks ago. It is good to finally have a history of Joseph Smith that isn’t either sugar-coated apologetics or scathing, sensational expose’.

Here’s what I wrote on another blog comparing Rough Stone Rolling to No Man Knows My History:“The difference between Rough Stone and No Man can be summarized very easily: Bushman, a celebrated and highly trained historian, wrote a HISTORY of Joseph Smith. Fawn Brodie, whose training was in English, wrote a sensational novel about Joseph Smith, peppered with whichever “historic facts” she found that helped keep her main character interesting. One shouldn’t be surprised that Brodie is easier to read that Bushman. Robert Graves is more fun to read than Edward Gibbon. In fact, I think that is a pretty good comparison - Rough Stone Rolling is to No Man Knows My History as The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire is to I, Claudius. (And Graves is kinder to Livia than Brodie is to Smith.)”

For those of you who decide to read this, I suggest plugging through the middle of the book. Keep in mind, this is a real history book, not a historical novel, so it may be more information that entertainment. Anyone teaching gospel doctrine next year should read it. I really do believe this is the new definitive history of Joseph Smith. (Now I’m going to have to start reading through all the Joseph Smith Papers too. Merry Christmas.)

===========================================================

Books I Can Remember that I’ve Read (In no particular order)

I'm only counting text books if I read the entire thing.
I'm counting books that I read more than half of but stopped because I couldn't stomach it (Lolita) or hated (Moby Dick). I'm not counting books that are mostly pictures (The Cat in the Hat) although they are still some of my favorite books. I'm counting books twice if I read them in English and in Spanish. Also, I have not counted all the Bathroom Readers, mostly because I'm ashamed of how much time I spend on the pot. I've read almost all of them though.

***** - I really liked
**** - I liked
*** - OK
** - I didn’t like
* - It sucked.


1. The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald****
2. A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man - James Joyce**
3. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen****
4. Walden - Henry David Thoreau**
5. Claudius the God - Robert Graves*****
6. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez***
7. A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess****
8. As I Lay Dying -William Faulkner***
9. Animal Farm - George Orwell****
10. The Book of Mormon - Written by the Hand of Mormon. Translated by Joseph Smith Jr.*****
11. The Holy Bible - King James Version*****
12. The Doctrine and Covenants - Joseph Smith, others****
13. The Pearl of Great Price - Moses, Abraham, Joseph Smith****
14. Travels with Charley (In Search of America) - John Steinbeck****
15. A Series of Unfortunate Events. The Bad Beginning - Lemony Snicket***
16. A Series of Unfortunate Events. The Reptile Room - Lemony Snicket***
17. A Series of Unfortunate Events. The Wide Window - Lemony Snicket***
18. Les Liaisons Dagereuses - Pierre Choderlos de Laclos****
19. Tom Sawyer Abroad - Samuel Clemens***
20. The Monkey Wrench Gang - Edward Abbey****
21. The Hero With a Thousand Faces - Joseph Campbell***
22. The Faith of a Scientist - Henry Eyring****
23. The Power of Myth - Joseph Campbell****
24. What are People For - Wendell Berry***
25. The Miracle of Forgiveness - Spencer W. Kimball****
26. The Greatest Salesman in the World - Og Mandino***
27. 1984 - George Orwell****
28. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn - Samuel Clemens*****
29. On the Road - Jack Keroac****
30. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens****
31. Catch-22 - Joseph Heller****
32. Don Quixote - Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra****
33. Uncle Tom’s Cabin - Harriet Beecher Stowe***
34. Deliverance - James Dickey****
35. The Best of Edward Abbey***
36. Rosaura a las Diez - Marco Denevi****
37. Ragtime - E.L. Doctorow****
38. Tom Sawyer Detective - Samuel Clemens***
39. The Iliad -Homer****
40. The Hobbit - J.R.R. Tolkein*****
41. Notes from the Underground - Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky***
42. The Double - Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky***
43. The Trial -Franz Kafka***
44. Moby Dick - Herman Melville**
45. Invisible Man - Ralph Ellison***
46. Principles of Surgery Companion Handbook - Schartz, Shires, Spencer*
47. Standing for Something - Gordon B. Hinckley***
48. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis*****
49. The Sound and the Fury -William Faulkner**
50. The Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck****
51. Slaughter House-Five - Kurt Vonnegut****
52. Tender is the Night - F. Scott Fitzgerald****
53. Under the Volcano - Malcolm Lowry**
54. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer -Samuel Clemens*****
55. Darkness at Noon - Arthur Koestler*****
56. The Call of the Wild - Jack London****
57. Kim - Rudyard Kipling***
58. A Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickens****
59. Howards End - E.M. Forster****
60. Sons and Lovers - D.H. Lawrence***
61. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad***
62. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance -Robert M. Pirsig****
63. The Stranger - Albus Camus****
64. To the Lighthouse - Virginia Woolf***
65. The Lonely Men - Louis L’Amour***
66. Sacred Clowns - Tony Hillerman***
67. The Covenant - James A. Michener****
68. Prentice Alvin - Orson Scott Card****
69. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy -Douglas Adams****
70. The Quick and the Dead - Louis L’Amour***
71. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee*****
72. The Gift of the Jews - Thomas Cahill****
73. The Last Battle - C.S. Lewis****
74. The Christ Commission - Og Mandin****
75. Ender’s Game -Orson Scott Card*****
76. People of Darkness - Tony Hillerman****
77. The Horse and His Boy - C.S. Lewis****
78. The Silver Chair - C.S. Lewis****
79. Memory of Earth - Orson Scott Card***
80. The Odyssey - Homer****
81. The Source - James A. Michener*****
82. The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger****
83. The Story of England - Christopher Hibbert****
84. A Farewell to Arms - Ernest Hemingway****
85. The Changed Man - Orson Scott Card****
86. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl****
87. El Milagro del Perdon -Spencer W. Kimball****
88. Frankenstein - Mary Shelley****
89. A Marvelous Work and a Wonder - LeGrand Richards****
90. A Treasury of Classical Mythology - A.R. Hope Moncrieff****
91. The Lord of the Rings - The Fellowship of the Ring - J.R.R. Tolkien****
92. Pure Drivel - Steve Martin***
93. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens****
94. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens****
95. Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone - J.K. Rowling*****
96. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - J.K. Rowling*****
97. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban -J.K. Rowling*****
98. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire -J.K. Rowling*****
99. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - J.K. Rowling*****
100. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - J.K. Rowling*****
101. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - J.K. Rowling*****
102. The Screwtape Letters - C.S. Lewis*****
103. The Magician's Nephew - C.S. Lewis*****
104. Out of the Silent Planet - C.S. Lewis****
105. Prince Caspian - C.S. Lewis*****
106. The Voyage of the 'Dawn Treader - C.S. Lewis*****
107. Mere Christianity - C.S. Lewis****
108. That Hideous Strength - C.S. Lewis****
109. The Sun Also Rises - Ernest Hemingway***
110. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov**
111. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley****
112. I Claudius - Robert Graves*****
113. Anthem - Ann Rand***
114. Lord of the Flies - William Golding****
115. As I Lay Dying - William Faulkner***
116. The Secret Agent - Joseph Conrad***
117. Starship Troopers - Robert Heinlein****
118. A Room With a View - E.M. Forster****
119. Lord Jim - Joseph Conrad***
120. Citizen of the Galaxy - Robert Heinlein****
121. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest - Ken Kesley****
122. Tunnel in the Sky - Robert Heinlein****
123. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz - L. Frank Baum****
124. Speaker for the Dead - Orson Scott Card****
125. Xenocide - Orson Scott Card****
126. Songmaster - Orson Scott Card**
127. Saints - Orson Scott Card****
128. Red Prophet - Orson Scott Card****
129. Cruel Shoes - Steve Martin***
130. The Great Brain - John Dennis Fitzgerald****
131. Me and My Little Brain - John Dennis Fitzgerald****
132. Jesus the Christ - James Talmage*****
133. The Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas****
134. Dracula - Bram Stoker****
135. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown***
136. Angels and Demons - Dan Brown****
137. Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West - Gregory Maguire****
138. Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator - Roald Dahl**
139. How the Irish Saved Civilization - Thomas Cahill***
140. Fundamentals of Family Medicine - Robert B. Taylor***
141. Medical Physiology - Rodney A Rhoades and George A Tanner**
142. D'aulaires Book of Greek Myths - Ingri and Edgar Parin D'Aurlaire****
143. El Libro De Mormon - Un Relato Escrito por la Mano de Mormon. Traducido de las Planchas por Jose Smith, Hijo*****
144. Generation X - Douglas Coupland***
145. Robinson Crusoe - Daniel Defoe****
146. Interview with the Vampire - Anne Rice****
147. The Picture of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde****
148. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen****
149. History of the English-Speaking Peoples - Winston Churchhill****
150. A Guide to Physical Examination and History Taking - Barbara Bates**
151. Complete History of the World - Richard Overy****
152. The American Religion - Harold Bloom***
153. The Good Earth - Pearl S. Buck****
154. In Cold Blood - Truman Capote****
155. A Rumor of War - Philip Caputo****
156. Religion in the New World - Richard E. Wentz***
157. The Moon Is Down - John Steinbeck****
158. The Pearl - John Steinbeck****
159. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck****
160. The Spy Who Came in from the Cold - John le Carré****
161. The Education of Little Tree - Forrest Carter*****
162. The Chosen - Chaim Potok****
163. The Work and the Glory, Pilar of Fire - Gerald N. Lund*****
164. The Work and the Glory, Like a Fire if Burning - Gerald N. Lund*****
165. The Work and the Glory, Truth will Prevail - Gerald N. Lund*****
166. The Work and the Glory, Thy Gold Refine - Gerald N. Lund*****
167. The Work and the Glory, A Season of Joy - Gerald N. Lund*****
168. Stepen King On Writing, A memoir of the Craft - Stephen King***
169. Me Talk Pretty One Day - David Sedaris****
170. Book of Mormon Authorship Revisited, The Evidence for Ancient Origins - Edited by Noel B. Reynolds. **** (March '08)
171. The Millionaire Next Door - Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko****
172. Naked Ape : A Zoologist's Study of the Human Animal - Desmond Morris****
173. Johnny Tremain - Esther Forbes****
174. Mormons and Masons, Setting the Record Straight - Gilbert W. Scharffs* (March '08)
175. San Manuel Bueno, mártir - Miguel de Unamuno****
176. Critiquing the Critics of Joseph Smith - Hartt Wixom**** (March '08)
177. Mormon Country - Wallace Stegner****
178. The House of God - Samuel Shem**
179. The Way of All Flesh - Samuel Butler****(March '08)
180. The Clan of the Cave Bear - Jean M. Auel**** (April '08)
181. Religions of the World - A Latter-day Saint View - Spencer J. Palmer, Rober R. Keller, Dong Sull Choi, James A. Toronto****
182. Julius Caesar - William Shakespear****
183. Romeo and Juliet - William Shakespeare****
184. Hamlet - William Shakespeare****
185. Macbeth - William Shakespeare****
186. One Minute Answers to Anti-Mormon Questions - Stephen W. Gibson*** (May '08)
187. Jay's Journal - Beatrice Sparks**
188. Blueprints in Obstetrics and Gynecology - Tamara L. Callahan, Aaron B Caughey and Linda J Heffner***
189. Clinical Microbiology Made Rediculously Simple - Mark Galdwin and Bill Trattler****
190. Prescription for the Boards USMLE Step 2 - Radhika Breaden, Charyl Denenberg, Kate Feibusch, Stephen Gomperts***
191. The Instant Exam Review for the USMLE Step 3 - Joel s. Goldberg**
192. Appleton & Lang's Review of Pediatrics - Martin I. Lorin**
193. Pathology - Arthur S. Schneider and Philip A Szanto**
194. Internal Medicine - Edward D. Frohlich**
195. The Lord of the Rings - The Two Towers - J.R.R. Tolkien****
196. The Lord of the Rings - The Return of the King - J.R.R. Tolkien****
198. The Mountain Meadows Massacre - Juanita Brooks****
198. A Thief of Time - Tony Hillerman****
199. Naked Pictures of Famous People - Jon Stewart**
200. La Casa de Bernarda Alba - Federico García Lorca***
201. Why Things Are and Why Things Aren't - Joel Achenbach****
202. Why Things Are - Joel Achenbach****
203. Why Do Clocks Run Clockwise? And Other Imponderables - David Feldman****
204. First Aid for the Family Medicine Boards - Tao Le, Christine Dehlendorf, Michael Mendoza, and Cynthria Ohata*** (May '08)
205. Why Don't Cat's Like to Swim - David Feldman****
206. The Naked and the Dead - Norman Mailer**** (June '08)
207. Encounters with the Archdruid - John McPhee***
208. Desert Solitaire - Edward Abby***
209. Family Medicine Board Review - Robert L. Bratton, MD*** (July '08)
210. View of the Hebrews - Ethan Smith** (August '08)
211. A Wrinkle in Time - Madeleine L'Engle****
212. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens****
213. The Book of Mormon and DNA Resarch - Edited by Daniel C. Petersen**** (Sept '08)
214. The Great Divorce - C.S. Lewis**** (Sept '08)
215. Treasure Island - Robert Louis Stevenson**** (Sept '08)
216. The Great Angel - A Study of Israel's Second God - Margaret Barker**** (Sept '08)
217. The House of the Seven Gables - Nathaniel Hawthorne**** (Sept,08)
218. The Scarlett Letter - Nathaniel Hawthorne**** (Oct, '08)
219. Twilight - Stephanie Meyer** (Oct, '08)
220. Sophie's Choice - William Styron*** (Nov, '08)
221. Revolt of 2100 - Robert Heinlein****
222. Farnham's Freehold - Robert Heinlein****
223. Between Planets - Robert Heinlein****
224. The Giver - Lois Lowry****(Nov, '08)
225. History of Joseph Smith by His Mother Lucy Mack Smith****
226. Stranger in a Strange Land - Robert Heinlein** (Nov, '08)
227. Joseph Smith - Rough Stone Rolling - Richard Lyman Bushman**** (Dec, '08)
228. The Work and the Glory - Praise to the Man - Gerald N. Lund**** (Dec, '08)

Book of Mormon Lesson 45

(Rough Draft with no references.)

Book of Mormon Lesson 45
“Never Has Man Believed in Me As Thou Hast”

I. Introduction
A. Today we will be starting the Book of Ether. I would just like to briefly review the source of the Book of Ether. We have it today in a very round about way.
1. Remember that way back in the Book of Omni we learn of a group of people who separated themselves from the Nephites to go south, to the land of Nephi (they had left this land to the Lamanites years before). These became the people of wicked King Noah and later his son King Limhi. They were living in the mists of the Lamanites and were eventually defeated by them and placed in bondage to them. King Limhi sent and expedition to try to find the land of Zarahemla. They were lost and instead found a land covered with bones. They assumed it was the land of Zarahemla destroyed (but it was actually the remains of the people of Ether). They found 24 gold plates there which contained the history of the people of Ether whose civilizations was destroyed before Lehi’s family came to the New World.
2. King Limhi’s people eventually made it back to Zarahemla and gave the plates to King Mosiah who had the gift of translation.
3. Read Mosiah 28:17-19. From these verses we learn that Mormon had always planned on including the Book of Ether in his record, but he died before he actually could. It is Moroni who actually introduces the Book of Ether in the first verses. I assume he did this at the instruction of his father, Mormon.
B. In the Book of Mormon (within the Book of Mormon) we have essentially finished the history of the Nephites and watched their destruction. (The Book of Moroni just has a few final notes.) In the Book of Ether we see many parallels with the rest of the Book of Mormon. Both give the account of people who separated themselves from wicked societies (the Jaredites from Babel and the Lehites from Jerusalem), both come to the promised land, both separate into different groups after the death of the original leaders, and both groups eventually become so wicked themselves that they are destroyed. Both histories were written for us today, and those of us who inhabit the “promised land” have been adequately warned that God will only protect and preserve the inhabitants of this land if they are righteous.

II. The Tower of Babel.
A. I constantly have to remind myself when I read the scriptures that God never intended them to be a detailed and accurate history book. The spiritual lessons learned from these stories are far more important to us then their historicity. The story of the Tower of Babel is dismissed by many as a mythological tale explaining why people speak different languages. We have other explanations for this now - we have an understanding of how languages develop and change over time. However, because it is also mentioned in the Book of Mormon, we have to assume that the Tower of Babel story must also represent some historical event, although neither the Bible or the Book of Mormon give us many details.
B. The Jewish historian Josephus speaks of the Tower of Babel: “Now it was Nimrod who excited them to such and affront and contempt of God. He was the grandson of Ham, the son of Noah, a bold man, and of great strength of hand. He persuaded them not to ascribe it to God, as if it were through his means they were happy, but to believe that it was their own courage which procured that happiness. He also gradually changed the government into tyranny, seeing no other way of turning men from the fear of God, but to bring them into a constant dependence on his power....Now the multitude were ready to follow the determination of Nimrod, and to esteem it a piece of cowardice to submit to God; and they built a tower, neither sparing any pains, nor being in any degree negligent about the work; and, by reason of the multitude of hands employed in it, it grew very high, sooner than any one could expect.......When God saw that they acted so madly, he did not resolve to destroy them utterly, since they were not grown wiser by the destruction of the former sinners [in the Flood]; but he caused a tumult among them, by producing in them diverse languages, and causing that, through the multitude of those languages, they should not be able to understand one another. The place wherein they built the tower is now called Babylon, because of the confusion of that language which they readily understood before; for the Hebrews mean by the word Babel, confusion.
1. So the reason for building the tower of Babel was to challenge God, whether literally or figuratively.
2. We can see in this account the modern parallels of Humanism.
3. Also, we see a government trying to make the people beholden to them instead of God.
C. Tradition holds that the Tower of Babel was built at Etemenanki in modern day Iraq. There are ruins of ziggurats in Iraq today.

III. The Brother of Jared
A. I always thought it was interesting that the most important character in the Book of Ether is not even mentioned by name. We only know him by his brother’s name - “the Brother of Jared.” Why do you think the Book of Ether does not name him? We learn that Ether, the compiler of the history of the Jaredites, was a direct paternal descendent of Jared, not his brother. The lineage of the monarchy must have gone through Jared and not his brother.
B. About 4000 years later we learn the name of the Brother of Jared through Joseph Smith. Brother George Reynolds relates: “While residing in Kirkland Elder Reynolds Cahoon had a son born to him. One day when President Joseph Smith was passing his door he called the Prophet in and asked him to bless and name the baby. Joseph did so and gave the boy the name of Mahonri Moriancaumer. When he had finished the blessing he laid the child on the bed, and turning to Elder Cahoon he said, the name I have vine your son is the name of the brother of jared; the Lord has just shown it to me. Elder William F. Cahoon, who was standing near, heard the Prophet make this statement to his father; and this was the first time the name of the brother of Jared was know in the Church in this dispensation.:

IV. The Jaredites are spared from having their language confused.
A. Read Ether 1:33-37.
1. Why do you think that Jared asked his brother to pray to the Lord instead of doing it himself? He had faith in his brother’s faith. Perhaps he doubted his own faith.
a. I admit that when my family needs something of the Lord, I often ask my wife to pray for it because I have more faith in her faith than I do in my own.
B. Read Ether 1:38-43.
1. God promises to take the people of Jared to a promised land. Why? :”because this long time ye have cried unto me.” Does God promise them this because he’s tired of listening to the brother of Jared whine? More likely because his prayers are a manifestation of his faith.
C. They are lead to a land northward by the sea. Brother Daniel Rona, a Jewish Mormon who was born in Israel and takes tour groups to Israel speculates: “The Brother of Jared listened to the Lord as he was told to gather seeds of every kind, gather animals and gather his family. Gathering is a strong metaphor of returning to Heavenly Father’s presence. The gathering of this Jaredites family was to the “north” at Nimrod. I immediately thought of the north of Israel, close to the Syrian border, where an old Crusader fortress called Nimrod’s Castle still stands. Nimrod is known locally as a Syrian warlord and hunter.”
1. So if Brother Rona is correct, they were at the eastern shores of the Mediterranean Sea.
D. God promises the Jaredites a promised land. Read Ether 2:7-12..
1. This is a warning to us in the “promised land” today also.
2. What can we do as individuals to preserve this “promised land.”
3. Moroni, who is abridging this for us, has just witnessed the fulfilment of this promise.
E. Read Ether 2:14.
1. Why did the Lord chasten the brother of Jared? For being complacent in calling on the Lord.
2. Why do you think the brother of Jared had not called on the Lord the way he should have? Things may have been going well for them. They may have been comfortable and not excited about crossing the sea to the “promised land.” (Parallel with Lehi’s Children in the land of Bountiful.)
3. How can we avoid becoming complacent in our prayers?
F. The brother of Jared’s response to chastening. Read Ether 2:15.
1. When we are chastised by leaders our natural response is to become defensive. The brother of Jared immediately repents.
2. Neal A Maxwell said: “Whatever the case, if we cannot endure chastening we do not yet qualify as true disciples.”
3. I am reading Richard Bushman’s history of Joseph Smith - Rough Stone Rolling right now. Many of the early leaders in the church were lost because they did not take chastisement from the Prophet well. Those who humbly submitted to his constructive criticism were better off for it.

V. The Jaredites build barges and the brother of Jared sees the Lord.
A. The Lord commands the brother of Jared to build barges - “exceedingly tight, even that they would old water like a dish, and the bottom thereof was tight like unto a dish.” The ends were “peaked”. They made a hole at the top and bottom to stop and unstop to breath. But there was no light.
B. Read Ether 22-23. What is the Lord doing here. He does not just give the brother of Jared the answer. He makes him figure it out for himself.
1. Harold B. Lee said: It was as though the Lord were saying to [the brother of Jared], ‘Look, I gave you a mind to think with, and I gave you agency to use it. Now you do all you can to help yourself with this problem; and then, after you’ve done all you can, I’ll step in to help you.’”
2. Gordon B Hinckley often said: “I don’t know how to get anything done except getting on my knees and pleading for help and then getting on my feet and going to work.
C. Read what the brother of Jared did. Ether 3:1-5.
D. Jared sees the Lord. Read Ether 3:6-13.
1. Why was the brother of Jared able to see the Lord.
2. This is a promise made to all of us. We can all see the Lord if we have enough faith
a. Read D&C 67:10-13
b. Read D&C 93:1
E. We then learn something about Jehovah here, that he is Jesus Christ that will come. Read Ether 3:14-16.
1. Joseph Fielding Smith said: “All revelation since the fall has come through Jesus Christ, who is the Jehovah of the Old Testament. In all of the scriptures, where God is mentioned and where he appeared, it was Jehovah who talked with Abraham, with Noah, Enoch, Moses and all the holy prophets. He is the God of Israel, the Holy One of Israel; the one who led the nation out of Egyptian bondage, and who gave and fulfilled the law of Moses. The Father [that is Elohim] has never death with man directly and personally since the fall, and he has never appeared except to introduce and bear record of the Son.”
2. He also said: “The Father has honored Christ by placing his name upon him, so that he can minister in and through that name as though he were the Father; and thus, so far as power and authority are concerned, his words and acts become and are those of the Father.”
D. Read that the brother of Jared’s faith was so great that God could not withhold knowledge and understanding from him.
1. Read Ether 3:24-26.
2. Read Ether 4:4
3. Read Ether 4:7
4. What does it mean to you that God has promised you the same knowledge as the brother of Jared if you will have enough faith?

VI. Moroni testifies of the Book of Mormon
A. Moroni speaks of the coming forth of the book of Mormon and predicts that there will
be those who contend against it.
1. Read Ether 4:8-10.
B. We are told a good way to know if something is of God. Read Ether 4:11-12.

VII. Conclusion
A. The Book of Ether teaches us the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel.
1. Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ - we learn that it was because of the brother of Jared’s great faith that he was able to accomplish and see what he did.
2. Repentance - remember that he needed to repent when God chastised him - for 3 hours - before he could continue with his mission to take his people to the promised land.
3. Baptism- read Ether 4:18
B. We see that although the brother of Jared saw, learned and did great things - “Never were greater things mad manifest than those which were made manifest unto the brother of Jared.” - that it really did depend on the very basics - the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel.

Christmas Letter 2008